In today’s society, many children have been given the role of decision making on big decisions that will impact them and their future. From what they eat, to what they do, there are many things today that parent’s have lost disciplining too, and it can have a negative long term effect in the long run for their children. It all stems from the common mistake of asking your child what they want, rather you enforcing what is best.
For example; is your child a picky eater? A child becomes a picky eater because either the parent failed to introduce/enforce certain types of foods early on or because it was easier to feed them what they thought they’d like, or what was easy to pack in the lunch box. The bottom line is that you should never ask your child what they want to eat. Asking them makes them the decider in that situation, stripping you off your authority as parent.
Same applies for extra-curricular activities. We have seen many times a parent pull a child away from an activity “because he doesn’t want to do it anymore” or “she doesn’t want to go.” But what you should be asking yourself is:
- Is this activity beneficial for my child?
- Are their important values that my child will learn in that activity?
By letting them decide to quit or not attend, you are once again allowing the child to parent themselves, once again stripping you from your position of authority.
It all begins with disciplining. A small change such as simply enforcing, rather than asking. In the beginning, it may take a little work, but if you strive to work on this small change, you will see great benefits, improvement and results in your child’s future. Parents should parent, not ask!
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